This is the heart of a fairytale relationship. To be known by the “One” and to have this connection from the start, from the first moment, without communication with that person and full acknowledgement of ourself to ourself long before a healthy relationship can start.
It feels like betrayal to not be loved deeply by our “soul mate” when we set up a wall like this. It feels like the abandonment we are all too familiar with from our childhood. In reality we were only recreating that parent-child relationship with our partner.
The focus, then, is to discover and accept the truth of our childhood and address it, doing the work of healing and moving forward breaking those chains of pain.