Lisa Barker

Dear husband,

This is how I’ve changed.

“But the change was more than that.  She looked older, and some of the laughter had gone out of her face.  Now, as she sat reading her book, Hallorann saw a grave sort of beauty there that had been missing on the day he had first met her, some nine months ago.  Then she had still been mostly girl.  Now she was a woman, a human being who had been dragged around to the dark side of the moon and had come back able to put the pieces back together.  But those pieces, Hallorann thought, they never fit just the same way again.  Never in this world. …

“Hallorann nodded.  “You and him, you’re coming back.  Different, maybe, but okay.  You ain’t what you were, you two, but that isn’t necessarily bad.”

–The Shining, by Stephen King

Landslide

Fleetwood Mac

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
I’m gettin’ older, too

Roar

Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (hey!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

Woman

Helen Reddy

(Excerpt)

“The family is breaking. Again,” said wife.

“That’s not my problem,” said husband.

“You’ve lost our daughter, your family back home, and now you risk losing our son. What is the common denominator in this?”

He said nothing.

He would not allow her to share what their son felt, that he wanted to make amends and move on.

“You’re not going to be the facilitator.”

“But he doesn’t want to lose his family. He doesn’t want to lose you!” she said, anyway.

“Again, you always side with the kids.” He shut down now. He was isolated within a fortress of self-imposed loneliness. She didn’t understand him and never would.

She sighed and sat beside him on the bed. “I love you. I hear that you want him to be responsible for his own actions. But I can see both sides. You’re not completely right. He’s not completely wrong.”

He said nothing. He seethed, a recoiled snake of emotion. “I really don’t care if I ever see or hear from him again.”

“HE HUNG UP ON YOU!!” She erupted, and truth like lava flowed and burned patience, destroying it.

“Yeah? Your point?”

“That’s not worth throwing a part of your family away.”

“That’s his decision.”

“I can’t believe it.”

He said nothing. She retreated inwardly into pain. Living with him, standing by him, was a bitter poison to swallow. But she had been sipping it for years, developing immunity, at least enough so she didn’t leave him.

There was little left of the family now.

(100 word challenge)

Four in the morning,

three at night;

just take the pills

to make it all right.

No voices, no intense jealousy and hostility. No paranoia, no taste buds covering all things, or chicken gizzards and hay growing out of my face. No plunging despair and immobilizing depression.

“You’ve changed,” he says, disappointed. He never says how.

“I have changed.” I am funny and happy and love life and my family and have work with purpose. I like to write and take pictures of my cats. I am no longer disabled by my disability.

Yes, I have changed.  For the better.

(Daily Prompt: Confidant / 100 word challenge)

My confidant is in a rut called, “Why should I care?”

Nothing needs to be solved. I just want him to listen and acknowledge me.

“Offer me a cold drink,” I said. “Say something nice.”

I told him it’s what best friends do.

I want to invite him into my world, share myself with him, the trivial and the stellar.

Marriage in our forties has been rough.  But I can envision us soaring from this point on. He doesn’t want me to.  We circle the runway because we might crash.

He’s afraid of it all coming to an end again.

Stay

Lisa Loeb

You say
I only hear what I want to
You say
I talk so all the time
So

And I thought what I felt was simple
And I thought that I don’t belong
And now that I am leavin’
Now I know that I did somethin’ wrong ’cause I missed you
Yeah, yeah I missed you

And you say
I only hear what I want to, I don’t listen hard
Don’t pay attention to the distance that you’re runnin’
To anyone, anywhere, I
Don’t understand if you really care, I’m only hearing negative
No, no, no (bad)

So I, I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up
And this woman was singin’ my song
Lovers in love and the others run away
Lover is crying ’cause the other won’t stay
Some of us hover while we’re waiting for the other who was dyin’ since the day they were born, well
Well, this is not that, think that I’m throwin’ but I’m thrown

And I thought I’d live forever
But now I’m not so sure
You try to tell me that I’m clever
That won’t take me anyhow
Or anywhere
With you

You said that I was naive, and (naive…)
I thought that I was strong, oh
I thought, “hey, I can leave, I can leave”, oh (leave…)
But now I know that I was wrong, ’cause I missed you
Yeah… I miss you

You said, “You caught me ’cause you want me” and one day you let me go
You try to keep away a keeper or keep me ’cause you know you’re just so
Scared to lose

And you say
“Stay”

You say
I only hear what I want to