After All

(Excerpt from Deliverance – WIP)

Suddenly, Joe knew regret, anguish, loss, relief, guilt, and anger.  He fell to his knees and Daniel and Ryan rose to lift him off the kitchen floor.  “Damn,” Joe cried.  “To hell with her!”  All he had left were the memories of her abuse and his disgust.  Could things have been better?  Could they have been worse?  Their relationship had been a hate-hate relationship on his part as awareness and an understanding of her behavior toward him had torn his heart open in the last few years of her life.  But he hadn’t known the cause of her anger at him; he could only guess what motivated her to try to control his life the more he advanced into recovery.  But when he’d fallen again after the baby died, after Wendy left, she had been satisfied and claimed to know him, and claimed to identify with him.  He’d wanted no part, no bonding in pain, no nothing.

Visitation

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(100 Word Challenge)

In a rainbow haze she arrives. 

She is fussy and spoiled and I am overjoyed.

Random moments, unrelated, gel together making sense.

Her diaper is dirty.

I’ll buy her this dress for Christmas.

Spongebob, cats, carnitas…

At once I remember her favorites.

She laughs: “Hey-yeah!”

and I smile again.

She naps, then wanders from her toddler bed to find me.

I hold her.

Gently, I place her back in her bed.

And I lie down.

At dawn my eyes pierce the brightening day, searching. Yet, she is a fading wisp.

Where has she gone?!

I panic.

I remember.

I ache.

Dreams Bring Back The Memories

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Memories

By Maroon 5

(adapted-lightly-by yours truly)

Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

There’s a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain
When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same
Now my heart feel like December when somebody say your name
‘Cause I can’t reach out to hold you, but I know I will one day, yeah

Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts someday, ayy ayy
But everything gon’ be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, ayy

Here’s to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

Doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo doo
Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Memories bring back, memories bring back you

There’s a time that I remember when I never felt so lost
When I felt all of the aching was too powerful to stop (ooh, yeah)
Now my heart feel like an ember and it’s lighting up the dark
I’ll carry these torches for ya that you know I’ll never drop, yeah

Everybody hurts sometimes
Everybody hurts someday, ayy ayy
But everything gon’ be alright
Go and raise a glass and say, ayy

Here’s to the ones that we got (oh)
Cheers to the wish you were here, but you’re not
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories
Of everything we’ve been through (no, no)
Toast to the ones here today (ayy)
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
‘Cause the dreams bring back all the memories (ayy)
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you

I’m Back

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Q: What was the moment when you realized that you should be a writer? Not just wanting to be, but that moment that said “yes, this needs to happen”. The eureka moment.

A: When I was a sophomore in high school (37 years ago!). It was then validated my first year in college when I discovered I could major in Creative Writing. Never looked back though my life twisted and turned in some horrible ways. I survived. I’m here. I’m writing again.

_________________________

How about you?

Curiosity And The Cat

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(100 Word Challenge)

“You read what I write?” He had said he didn’t care.

“Occasionally.”

“Then you should know that it was filled with hope for quite sometime.” She let the world know how she felt because with him those feelings were all on her. It took courage. “These are seeds for new stories.”

Did he snort or choke? Haha. Serves him right.

The word challenges were private, though published. All exercises in committing to word what the heart cannot bear, what the heart hopes. Life is messy, love prevails. She would hone the art of concisely conveying that paradox.

The Way of All Things

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(100 Word Challenge)

The explosion of feeling. “You always let him get away with things. Why do you need to parent? He’s an adult.”

Which to respond to?

In calamity she found peace in small reminders: the morning sun greeting flowers. In her world there were no clouds gathering and threatening to storm. No fear of angering him; no fear of the marriage deflating.

“I will tell him that the dishes must be be put away each time there are dishes in the drain.”

“Until the next time.”

No response. No fear.

They continued: two people in two spaces beside one another. Coexisting.

Story Seeds

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My hundred word challenges aren’t always stories. They are emotional snapshots that often are the seeds of a new story. A messy life; the promise of healing.

I share them with you because you can relate in some way. Because you like to see characters heal. Because you are curious where my ideas come from.

I share songs reflecting my current mood that are also seeds for stories.

I share book reviews of my own novel and those I have written for others.

I choose images that support those posts.

I hope you enjoy my blog.

Stories matter.