After All

(Excerpt from Deliverance – WIP)

Suddenly, Joe knew regret, anguish, loss, relief, guilt, and anger.  He fell to his knees and Daniel and Ryan rose to lift him off the kitchen floor.  “Damn,” Joe cried.  “To hell with her!”  All he had left were the memories of her abuse and his disgust.  Could things have been better?  Could they have been worse?  Their relationship had been a hate-hate relationship on his part as awareness and an understanding of her behavior toward him had torn his heart open in the last few years of her life.  But he hadn’t known the cause of her anger at him; he could only guess what motivated her to try to control his life the more he advanced into recovery.  But when he’d fallen again after the baby died, after Wendy left, she had been satisfied and claimed to know him, and claimed to identify with him.  He’d wanted no part, no bonding in pain, no nothing.