Nanowrimo Approacheth

nanowrimo

Are you gonna do it this year?  Doesn’t matter how far you get or what you’ve got when you’re finished.  What matters is that you love to write and have fun at it.

That’s my perspective this year.  I’m trying my hand at a memoir.  Don’t know where I’ll go with it, but I know where it starts.  I think I can navigate from there as that is the kind of writer I am.

The one and only book I published was years ago, just after my daughter died.  Life was hard then, and has its moments now, but writing these 100 word challenges for this blog has been refreshing.  I think it’s time to write again no matter what becomes of it.

So, join me!  I’d be happy to be your writing buddy.  Just look for me under this easy to remember handle: LisaBarker

Come on, you can do it!  We’re gonna have fun.

18 Years

autumn-colorful-colourful-33109
by Pixabay

(100 word challenge)

You,
arrived to a new country,
new culture,
without family,
without friends,
only me to greet you,
welcome you,
create a home.

Me,
struggling with depression
and mania.

Passion,
the glue that bound us.

Never doubt.
Don’t Dream It’s Over.

We,
raising two exceptional daughters,
a manic-depressive son,
a daughter that died,
a son that would struggle.

Her death.
My clinical depression.
Your isolation and loneliness.

The pressure broke us.

She saved you.

You came back.

Years of painful healing,
incrementally building,
growing,
learning to accept
and love
each other as we are.

The 18th anniversary.

I still love you.

Our Song

affection-black-and-white-couple-1004014
by Min An

Don’t Dream It’s Over

Crowded House

There is freedom within, there is freedom without
Try to catch a deluge in a paper cup
There’s a battle ahead, many battles are lost
But you’ll never see the end of the road while you’re traveling with me

Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now, when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
We know they won’t win

Now I’m towing my car, there’s a hole in the roof
My possessions are causing me suspicion but there’s no proof
In the paper today, tales of war and of waste
But you turn right over to the TV page

Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now, when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
We know they won’t win

Now I’m walking again to the beat of a drum
And I’m counting the steps to the door of your heart
Only shadows ahead, barely clearing the roof
Get to know the feeling of liberation and release

Hey now, hey now, don’t dream it’s over
Hey now, hey now, when the world comes in
They come, they come to build a wall between us
You know they won’t win

 

Changes II

pexels-photo-443446
by eberhard grossgasteiger

Dear husband,

This is how I’ve changed.

“But the change was more than that.  She looked older, and some of the laughter had gone out of her face.  Now, as she sat reading her book, Hallorann saw a grave sort of beauty there that had been missing on the day he had first met her, some nine months ago.  Then she had still been mostly girl.  Now she was a woman, a human being who had been dragged around to the dark side of the moon and had come back able to put the pieces back together.  But those pieces, Hallorann thought, they never fit just the same way again.  Never in this world. …

“Hallorann nodded.  “You and him, you’re coming back.  Different, maybe, but okay.  You ain’t what you were, you two, but that isn’t necessarily bad.”

–The Shining, by Stephen King

Landslide

Fleetwood Mac

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky, what is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Mmm

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too

Well, I’ve been ‘fraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m gettin’ older, too
I’m gettin’ older, too

Roar

Roar
By Pixabay

Roar

Katy Perry

I used to bite my tongue and hold my breath
Scared to rock the boat and make a mess
So I sat quietly, agreed politely
I guess that I forgot I had a choice
I let you push me past the breaking point
I stood for nothing, so I fell for everything

You held me down, but I got up (hey!)
Already brushing off the dust
You hear my voice, your hear that sound
Like thunder, gonna shake the ground
You held me down, but I got up
Get ready ’cause I had enough
I see it all, I see it now

I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter
Dancing through the fire
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar
Louder, louder than a lion
‘Cause I am a champion, and you’re gonna hear me roar!

Strong, Invincible

Woman
By Victor Freitas

Woman

Helen Reddy

I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an’ pretend
‘Cause I’ve heard it all before
And I’ve been down there on the floor
No one’s ever gonna keep me down again

Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am invincible
(Invincible)
I am woman

You can bend but never break me
‘Cause it only serves to make me
More determined to achieve my final goal
And I come back even stronger
Not a novice any longer
‘Cause you’ve deepened the conviction in my soul

Oh yes, I am wise
But it’s wisdom born of pain
Yes, I’ve paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong
(Strong)
I am…

He Said Nothing

nothing
By Juan

(Excerpt)

“The family is breaking. Again,” said wife.

“That’s not my problem,” said husband.

“You’ve lost our daughter, your family back home, and now you risk losing our son. What is the common denominator in this?”

He said nothing.

He would not allow her to share what their son felt, that he wanted to make amends and move on.

“You’re not going to be the facilitator.”

“But he doesn’t want to lose his family. He doesn’t want to lose you!” she said, anyway.

“Again, you always side with the kids.” He shut down now. He was isolated within a fortress of self-imposed loneliness. She didn’t understand him and never would.

She sighed and sat beside him on the bed. “I love you. I hear that you want him to be responsible for his own actions. But I can see both sides. You’re not completely right. He’s not completely wrong.”

He said nothing. He seethed, a recoiled snake of emotion. “I really don’t care if I ever see or hear from him again.”

“HE HUNG UP ON YOU!!” She erupted, and truth like lava flowed and burned patience, destroying it.

“Yeah? Your point?”

“That’s not worth throwing a part of your family away.”

“That’s his decision.”

“I can’t believe it.”

He said nothing. She retreated inwardly into pain. Living with him, standing by him, was a bitter poison to swallow. But she had been sipping it for years, developing immunity, at least enough so she didn’t leave him.

There was little left of the family now.