“What do you want in this marriage?”
The question came from an unassuming therapist with a kind smile. It was always difficult in the beginning, especially when you had to consciously make an effort to be vulnerable. Her husband would not do that. But, she was willing to step off the ledge into the abyss and be transformed in her self and in her life.
“I want to talk with him. I want to ask how he rates this marriage, what he feels and thinks about it. I want to know what he sees as weaknesses and strengths. I want to work out resolutions with him. I want him to put his arm around me again, to be in our marriage with me in a together sense.
“But I don’t want to hear how we don’t work, don’t fit, don’t match, don’t share all the same interests and that there are no ways to resolve our differences.
“We came together as soul mates. We’re soul mates still, but not in the same way. The stakes are higher. It’s more than dating and sharing interests. We’ve been through the hottest part of hell and we might be hanging from a twig on a cliff in that hell pit, but we’re moving forward. We share a history. We’re family. We weren’t that when we first started out. All we had was shared interests and attraction. That doesn’t last when the going gets tough. Our going got real tough and we are here together despite it. Our connection is stronger, if we don’t throw it away.”